Goodnight Dad

Good evening folks

Sorry for the lack of blog. Today has been a sad day, but with a massive sense of relief I write this blog.

 Dad lost his fight for life, and peacefully left us just before 12 last night. He had battled on for more than 2 weeks, bless him, and for those of us seeing him begin to suffer, it was pure torture.

He had had a brain stem stroke, and from what we can deduce, it was severe. After nurse and doctor consultations we were aware of his plight – total paralysis from almost his chin down, but with the sensations of pain, and inability to cough and even swallow at times. He was a strong and brave man, but simply couldn’t hold on and after a very long 16 day beside vigil he slipped away just after we returned home for an hour or two, possibly preferring for us not to be there...who knows.

Dad only opened his eyes a little during the last few days, although I am sure he knew we were all there. Many, many friends and family came, and cried and said goodbye. At one point there were 8 young people (grandchildren, nieces etc) all leaving the ward in tears, and I felt proud when I saw the nurses looking, almost surprised at the army of ‘young-uns (as Dad would say) that had come to hold his hand.

Dad was my step father for 38 years. We had some tough times (me the rebel) and so, so many good memories for us all to look back on and smile. Dad was a bugger for DIY, and admittedly sometimes he was a ‘bit of a bodger’. Being very security conscious he always added extra bolts, latches, padlocks and booby traps but his most fabulous tools of choice where possible seemed to be blue tack, selotape and bits of wire! I am sure he is up there looking forward to fiddling in his heavenly shed, making something out of guttering, duct tape and copper pipe! 

These few days have brought friends and family close, and it’s been lovely to see people although you break your heart every time they walk in. In the grand scheme of things, you see, people are really the only important thing in life. What you have and have not isn’t important, its who you love and have in your life, for it is so short really.

Words can’t express how grateful we are to those wonderful staff of Ward 41, Coventrys Walsgrave Hospital. I know they see it every day, but they were truly beautiful people who made his visit full of love and dignity.

Dad is now reunited with my brother Steve, who left us 2 years ago, another great bloke who went too soon, and I am sure they are somewhere more tranquil dismantling something side by side now. I am not sure about religion, but I do think the soul is somewhere. People have such presence in life, such personality, it can’t simply die, they are all out there somewhere.

My priority now is to be strong for my Mum. She is (and those of you who know her, will agree) one of life’s true selfless people. Mum is a wonderful, happy, lovable, funny, inspirational woman who I can honestly say everybody loves. She has always been mum to all of my friends too, and now is a granny to many, as all the grand-children’s friends call her Granny Brenda too! If I turn out to be half of the woman she is, I shall be very happy. Mum is hurting so bad, but smiling on, with bleary eyes and an obviously heavy heart. She’s relieved but quietly empty. She is one in a million.

Well, enough now, much love to everyone in this mad world, I sign off by saying it’s been a tough week, Rest In Peace Dad, you are in a better place now. I will look after Mum, til we all meet again one day.

Love Sue xxxx